Liverpool played host to Labour’s annual conference today, and if Rachel Reeves hoped to project calm authority, the rest of the party didn’t get the memo. Between tax rise whispers, pro-Palestine hecklers, and cabinet ministers openly out-flanking Starmer, the so-called government-in-waiting looked more like a political pub quiz team arguing over the answers.
Rachel Reeves took the stage at Labour conference today, doing her best impression of a stern headteacher: “I will not take risks with the economy,” she said, while everyone quietly waited for the bit where she admits she’s about to take a massive risk with your payslip. Translation: brace yourselves for tax rises you’ll swear blind you never voted for.
Meanwhile, Starmer’s loyalists are out here playing “guess the U-turn” like it’s the national sport. Darren Jones basically confirmed the government isn’t “ruling out” tax hikes — which is Westminster code for absolutely planning them.
Things got juicier when a pro-Palestine protester interrupted Reeves mid-speech, proving once again that Labour conferences are the only gigs where the hecklers get more headlines than the headliners.
And then Shabana Mahmood — the Home Secretary — went rogue at a fringe event. Starmer had already labelled Farage’s immigration crusade “racist.” Mahmood went one better: “much, much worse than racism.” You could almost hear the spin doctors choke on their free conference wine.
Meanwhile, Andy Burnham is apparently the party’s new emotional support footballer: Wes Streeting said he’s had “ups and downs” but insists “we need him on the pitch.” Someone tell Wes this isn’t Sky Sports Super Sunday.
Bottom line? Labour are desperate to look like a government-in-waiting — but today felt more like a chaotic WhatsApp group chat made flesh. Reeves wants calm, Starmer wants loyalty, Mahmood wants Farage’s head on a spike… and the rest of us just want a tax bill we can actually pay.