Div 1 players fought hard for steady 36s, but Cox-Rogers ripped up Div 2 with a monster 42. Toss in a few 11s, some birdies, and a healthy dose of blobs — the Bank Holiday didn’t disappoint.

Some comps are close. This one was like watching a pub quiz where one guy brought the answers. Martin Cox-Rogers dropped 42 points in Div 2, which is impressive until you remember his handicap is basically a charity donation. He wasn’t playing golf; he was mugging pensioners outside the clubhouse.
Barry Carter and Ben Costello both posted 38s — Barry off 6, Ben off 18. That’s the same score, but in completely different sports. Barry’s was “precision golf”; Ben’s was “angry gardening.” Michael Cooper had 37 — steady, until he remembered it was him playing and collapsed like a Poundland deckchair.
Then the comedy section arrived. François Tosques with a 10 on the 3rd. Ten! That’s not a score, that’s how many drinks you need to forget it happened. Steve Sinnott racked up an 8 on the 8th — nice symmetry, shame about the golf. And Harry Woolner with an 8 on the 1st — his round peaked before anyone had even teed off.
🏆 Leaderboard (Top 10 Stableford)
Pos | Player | Points | Hcp | Brutal Truth |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Martin Cox-Rogers 🥇 | 42 | 30.0 | Handicap fraud trial pending |
2 | Barry Carter 🥈 | 38 | 6.0 | Steady but about as fun as Sudoku |
3 | Ben Costello 🥉 | 38 | 18.0 | Same score as Barry, double the shots |
4 | Michael Cooper | 37 | 8.0 | Crumbled like a digestive in tea |
5 | David Leigh | 36 | 16.0 | Birdie on 7, still looks depressed |
6 | Richard Walker | 36 | 12.0 | Would birdie his nan if it counted |
7 | Robert Kelly | 36 | 9.0 | Silent assassin, or just boring? |
8 | Rodney O’Donovan | 36 | 1.0 | Proof that scratch golfers hate life |
9 | Stuart Dobbs | 35 | 17.0 | Front-nine hero, back-nine obituary |
10 | Vincent Cooper | 34 | 14.0 | “Mr Inconsistent” is being polite |
“Cox-Rogers didn’t just win; he humiliated the field. Everyone else showed up, scored like they’d forgotten how to count, and went home to Google ‘easy sports for middle-aged men.’”
⛳ Side Stories & Roasts
- Birdie orgy: Hole 7 coughed up three twos. Richard Walker, Robert Kelly, and Rodney O’Donovan all cashed in. Shame none of them cashed in with a personality.
- Biggest implosion: François Tosques, 10 on the 3rd. If golf was darts, he still wouldn’t have checked out.
- Blob Parade: Harry Woolner, 8 on the 1st. That’s not golf, that’s an opening act for a car crash.
- Mr Inconsistent: Vincent Cooper. Scores swing like a mood disorder. Needs therapy, not lessons.
- Consistency prize: Barry Carter. No blow-ups, no disasters. Like missionary sex — effective, but nobody’s writing home about it.